Bravery Defined

My dearest friend Alice saved my life from a baby tarantula tonight. I know, I'm as shocked as you are to find out that Northwest Indiana is full of trantulas, but it had to be. It was the BIGGEST spider I have ever seen! As we were leaving work she threw herself between me and the frightful beast so I wouldn't be attacked. She shielded me from its venomous bite by spraying it with deadly poisonous carpet cleaner. Not only did it not die, it walked away leaving a trail of poison behind. It slowed down and she was sure it was dead so, being the brave friend that she is, she poked it with a stick. She flipped it on its back but it wasn't dead and it flipped back over and started to walk away again! She decided not to play any more games and grabbed the Windex. Everyone knows that Windex to a spider is like sunshine to a vampire (which in fact spiders and vampires are very much alike because they both want to kill people). I ran for my car and locked the doors. I have never seen a truer display of bravery in all my life. I love Alice Merrill.